Once upon a time… Shame and guilt came to stay with Lois and became her uninvited guests. However, they overstayed and refused to leave. They told her many lies. Shame and guilt said to her that she was stupid and would not amount to anything because she stuttered and couldn’t read. They said she deserved beatings and needed to do penance for being a bad child. Lois tried to silence them, but they only grew stronger.
Despite the shame/guilt bullies, Lois had many career successes. Nevertheless, the shame and guilt intruders deepened her depression and added physical distortions to her body. She developed severe scoliosis with heart, liver, and lung disease, as well as childhood skull and rib traumas. Lois held firm to her inexhaustible spirit that knew a way to heal but not to her, yet.
Soon she realized that shame and guilt did not belong to her but influenced her feelings, thoughts, and body. They used a disguise to hide, and she unknowingly lived in the prison of mediocrity and defeat. They changed her passion into anger and her love into hate.
Lois decided to take control. She befriended her emotions and earned their trust. She realized that shame and guilt made her and her emotions miserable. Her emotions supported her. Shame and guilt sabotaged her.
She wants everyone to know that “shame and guilt are not ours to own or give.” Each one of our emotions, either happy or sad are ours.
With the correct knowledge, anyone can kick the shame and guilt intimidators out of their lives.
Repeated abusive events cause shame and guilt to accumulate. Over time, simple hurts explode into rage and fear.
The Voices of Shame and Guilt
When I first met Lois, I was depressed, withdrawn, and cried most of the time. I had three unhappy marriages and 15 years of psycho-therapy with medication. I still felt no confidence or self-worth, even though I was the Director of Logistics for an international marketing company
Lois, in her loving, supportive, but determined way, helped me free myself from shame and guilt. My creativity soared! I stopped some of my medications. My anger and guilt were gone! I wear brighter colors with upbeat designs. Thank you, Lois. I see the value that only others could see in me. I enjoy life, instead of just living it.
E.K. Norfolk, Va.